Why I Don't Want To Watch Porn Or Hentai Anymore
I have been addicted to hentai since I was around 13 or 14 years old. A sexual addict. Constantly imagining perverse sexual scenarios in my mind all the time in order to feel better about life.
Whenever I feel stressed, I turn to hentai to help me laugh and feel better about life. It's a release. It's a drug.
Whenever I feel lost or confused, unsure of my direction, hentai helps me by being a distraction and getting my attention off of the problem.
Sure, it's definitely served a soothing, medicating role for me over the past 15 or so years.
However, now that I'm 28, I still don't have an active social life, or a budding relationship with another female, I may be contribution to the epidemic of FUKME by constantly getting off to images of Samus and Peach and other video game characters I used to play when I was young.
There's that whole Oedipal complex. Not an Electra or Jocasta. I used to play Super Metroid with my Mom when I was under 10 years old. Super Mario Bros. as well. The hentai helps bring to life those nostalgic feelings, and makes me life considering them and seeing them sexual scenarios.
It turns me on.
This song came to my mind this morning where the lyrics repeat over and over, "We are all crazy motherfuckers".
It definitely is crazy to be doing what I am doing.
However there are millions of hentai creators.
I compulsively followed dozens of NSFW Hentai Voice Actors on Twitter.
Also subscribed to the SuperSmash34 Reddit where it's all Rule 34 Smash.
It gives me sexual desire.
Now I must TRANSMUTE that desire to some worthwhile benefit!
I can't be like Onan from the Bible and just waste my seed. Just ejaculate it all out on the ground. It will KILL me! It will send me into a deep dark depression where I no longer have vital life force sexual energy flowing thorugh my body giving me the courage, the persistence, the passion, the joy to continue doing what I need to do in this life.
I can't just WASTE it, sending it into unfruitful ground.
Just from being turned on by some cartoon images or video that someone else created, that does not know I exist. We have no communication at all. They just put out these images for free.
Something I have been reminding myself of lately is, "Everything is contributing to my Definite Chief Aim in Life".
I can make it so.
Even though this seems like a slip, or really a relapse, going back and looking at hentai, even for 30 minutes a day. WITHOUT ejaculating.
That is a huge win compared to where I was even back in 2014. Perhaps than my testosterone levels were higher. But I would get drunk and watch porn all day. And get into more and more hardcore types of porn. Submission. Brutality. Shaming. Slut Fuck. Face Fucks. Humiliation. Bitches. Treat women terrible, like objects. Throat fucking And I would get turned on by it. Because I was letting women control be during my normal life so it felt amazing in this fantasy to be an superior dominator.
However all that time I spent watching all those Tumblr, Videos, etc, where has it lead me?
Is there any creation I can point to that I am proud of, having invested all that time?
I mean no.
I considered creating a Porn Tumblr to make money from it, since I was doing it pretty much everyday.
However I was too ashamed too keep working on it as I started to not get as turned on my porn, and guilt working on it when around co-workers or family.
SEXUAL REVOLUTION?
Or is that shame guiding me to the proper place.
Sex should be sacred.
It should be between one man and one woman, who become one flesh.
Don't be adulterous in your heart and commit fornication with cartoon pixels on your phone screen.
Is that what a good and faithful servant would do?
But it helps me feel better, get excited about life.
Isn't there any other way you can feel better, be excited about life, and feel even more confident in your actions?
You're not going to put that up on your ACX resume, are you?
You're not going to tell your whole family at Christmas hey I became a Hentai Artist since I watch so much. Check this out Molly!
NO!
Like WTF
Should you just run away from life, or push in and dive deep?
I do not want to develop PIED. Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction.
I want to develop healthy boundaries related to my sexuality, so I feel comfortable being around me with women in my presence. I'm not uncontrollably lusting after them, wanting to fuck them and not achieve any greater purpose beyond that.
Fucking produces babies.
It is LIFE FORCE ENERGY
It can CREATE ANYTHING.
Do you want a baby now?
THEN TRANSMUTE THAT ENERGY INTO WHAT YOU DO WANT
FINANCES
You have much bigger dreams than just physical, fleshly, lustful, lascivious, lubidinous passions.
FLEE FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY
LUST IS A LIE WHICH NEVER SATISFIES.
As soon as you think you've searched for the perfect video, the exact, specific, detailed, perverse, niche fetish you've been looking for, you NEED TO FIND ANOTHER.
It NEVER ENDS.
Unless of course you ejaculate.
Then you feel horrible about yourself.
Shocked and disgusted at your own behavior.
You erase your browser history, delete all the pictures and videos you once thought were a huge turn on.
Your whole physiology changes.
Before beginning to watch porn, think to yourself, "Will I feel better or worse about myself after having looked at this?"
"Will I be able to stop?"
"Will I be able to confess this to another human being?"
"Is this for the benefit of myself and all beings I interact with?"
"Is there ANYTHING ELSE I could do that would be more fulfilling, more exciting, more fruitful?"
LOVE IS THE ANTIDOTE TO LUST
Sit.
Be still.
Listen to your heart.
Sending healing, loving, positive thoughts and emotions to every cell of your body.
Focus on your organs. Your heart, your kidneys, your lungs, your stomach, your liver. Forgive, forget, let go. Forget about all the emotional trauma you've had in the past. Delete the memories from you mind. Do the Six Healing Sounds. Ah, Ooohh, Eee, Hoooo, Haaaaa, Heeee. Heal the brain and body. Have some self compassion.
Feeling the NEED to act of sexual is a SERIOUS SYMPTOM OF LACK OF SELF CARE.
FOCUS ON YOUR NEEDS.
BE SELFISH.
You'd think watching porn is a selfish act. But actually it's DETRIMENTAL.
Give me a man that wastes his seed watching porn everyday for hours, and I'll show you a nightmare of a life.
Give me a man who TRANSMUTES his sexual energy, looking to share and connect with others, and I'll show you a man who is successful in all his ways.
All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose.
LOVE GOD
OBEY HIS COMMANDMENTS
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY
Focus your sexual desire on to ONE WIFE. ONE DESIRE. Don't split your focus upon dozens, hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of DIFFERENT sexual scenarios displayed through SFM video and endless pictures created by amazing Hentai artists. I must admit they are VERY talented.
Talented in wicked, evil arts. Able to lure you in to HELL. To your very DESTRUCTION.
Which is why you must FLEE!!!
Immediately get your attention off of fantasy.
STOP FANTASIZING.
Snap yourself out of it.
Transmute the energy, let it go.
Focus on your goals. The task at hand.
Do not fantasize about having sex with every woman you meet. You'll end up wasting hours of your life imagining you are while looking at a similar woman on PornHub, along with hundreds of thousands of other people. Instead of really LIVING THEIR DREAM. Bringing FORTH their TRUE desire.
ENTIRE YE IN AT THE STRAIT GATE. BE ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW. FOR WIDE IS THE GATE AND BROAD IS THE WAY WHICH LEADS TO DESTRUCTION.
Observe the masses.
And do the opposite.
Stop following promiscuous Twitter people
Unsub from Hentai Redditts.
Stop searching to play Hentai Games on your phone.
Stop searching all of your perverse ideas that come to your head, without intending to actually look at the images, video, or ejaculate.
ORGASM THROUGH YOUR IMAGINATION.
Your own wonderful human imagination.
Do not get your dopamine releases from EXTERNAL DEVICES WHICH END UP CONTROLLING YOU
Be in control of your own mind.
Have no need for external devices, supplements, drugs, stimulants to make you happy or give you what you want.
Have an internal locus of control.
Be debt free.
Serve your time now.
Make your future self richer, happier, and healthier.
Do not sacrifice tomorrow for a better today.
Sacrifice today for a better tomorrow.
Live for the day however, as they days are evil. No man knows when he shall pass. Tomorrow's not a promise.
Do you want to go, and friends and family wonder what the last thing you were doing was, and it was watching Princess Peach suck a Bowser Cock?
What a legacy...
There will be suffering.
Recovering from sexually compulsive behavior is like cutting off your own hand. Or your own dick!
But it's better for one of your members to be cast from you than your whole body to be thrown into hell!
And thrown in to hell it will be!
HATE THE SIN
HATE MISSING THE MARK
LET THE HATE AND THE RAGE FUEL YOU
HAVE AN EXTREMELY NEGATIVE CHARGE TOWARDS SEXUAL IMMORALITY
PUSH IT AND RUN AWAY FROM IT LIKE A MAGNET
DO NOT ALLOW A POSITIVE CURRENCY EXCHANGE TO ATTRACT PORNOGRAPHY IMAGES TO YOU.
Let the hate DRIVE you.
Your imagination will become reality. Love yourself. Have self-compassion. Honor yourself. Listen to your inner voice. Listen to God in the stillness, in the silence. He's always there. Your true essence. Always ready and eager for you to begin listening. To get back on your true path in life. Not diverted into adulterated, sinful, wayward, prodigal son pleasures. COME BACK TO THE FATHER.
Whenever I feel stressed, I turn to hentai to help me laugh and feel better about life. It's a release. It's a drug.
Whenever I feel lost or confused, unsure of my direction, hentai helps me by being a distraction and getting my attention off of the problem.
Sure, it's definitely served a soothing, medicating role for me over the past 15 or so years.
However, now that I'm 28, I still don't have an active social life, or a budding relationship with another female, I may be contribution to the epidemic of FUKME by constantly getting off to images of Samus and Peach and other video game characters I used to play when I was young.
There's that whole Oedipal complex. Not an Electra or Jocasta. I used to play Super Metroid with my Mom when I was under 10 years old. Super Mario Bros. as well. The hentai helps bring to life those nostalgic feelings, and makes me life considering them and seeing them sexual scenarios.
It turns me on.
This song came to my mind this morning where the lyrics repeat over and over, "We are all crazy motherfuckers".
It definitely is crazy to be doing what I am doing.
However there are millions of hentai creators.
I compulsively followed dozens of NSFW Hentai Voice Actors on Twitter.
Also subscribed to the SuperSmash34 Reddit where it's all Rule 34 Smash.
It gives me sexual desire.
Now I must TRANSMUTE that desire to some worthwhile benefit!
I can't be like Onan from the Bible and just waste my seed. Just ejaculate it all out on the ground. It will KILL me! It will send me into a deep dark depression where I no longer have vital life force sexual energy flowing thorugh my body giving me the courage, the persistence, the passion, the joy to continue doing what I need to do in this life.
I can't just WASTE it, sending it into unfruitful ground.
Just from being turned on by some cartoon images or video that someone else created, that does not know I exist. We have no communication at all. They just put out these images for free.
Something I have been reminding myself of lately is, "Everything is contributing to my Definite Chief Aim in Life".
I can make it so.
Even though this seems like a slip, or really a relapse, going back and looking at hentai, even for 30 minutes a day. WITHOUT ejaculating.
That is a huge win compared to where I was even back in 2014. Perhaps than my testosterone levels were higher. But I would get drunk and watch porn all day. And get into more and more hardcore types of porn. Submission. Brutality. Shaming. Slut Fuck. Face Fucks. Humiliation. Bitches. Treat women terrible, like objects. Throat fucking And I would get turned on by it. Because I was letting women control be during my normal life so it felt amazing in this fantasy to be an superior dominator.
However all that time I spent watching all those Tumblr, Videos, etc, where has it lead me?
Is there any creation I can point to that I am proud of, having invested all that time?
I mean no.
I considered creating a Porn Tumblr to make money from it, since I was doing it pretty much everyday.
However I was too ashamed too keep working on it as I started to not get as turned on my porn, and guilt working on it when around co-workers or family.
SEXUAL REVOLUTION?
Or is that shame guiding me to the proper place.
Sex should be sacred.
It should be between one man and one woman, who become one flesh.
Don't be adulterous in your heart and commit fornication with cartoon pixels on your phone screen.
Is that what a good and faithful servant would do?
But it helps me feel better, get excited about life.
Isn't there any other way you can feel better, be excited about life, and feel even more confident in your actions?
You're not going to put that up on your ACX resume, are you?
You're not going to tell your whole family at Christmas hey I became a Hentai Artist since I watch so much. Check this out Molly!
NO!
Like WTF
Should you just run away from life, or push in and dive deep?
I do not want to develop PIED. Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction.
I want to develop healthy boundaries related to my sexuality, so I feel comfortable being around me with women in my presence. I'm not uncontrollably lusting after them, wanting to fuck them and not achieve any greater purpose beyond that.
Fucking produces babies.
It is LIFE FORCE ENERGY
It can CREATE ANYTHING.
Do you want a baby now?
THEN TRANSMUTE THAT ENERGY INTO WHAT YOU DO WANT
FINANCES
You have much bigger dreams than just physical, fleshly, lustful, lascivious, lubidinous passions.
FLEE FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY
LUST IS A LIE WHICH NEVER SATISFIES.
As soon as you think you've searched for the perfect video, the exact, specific, detailed, perverse, niche fetish you've been looking for, you NEED TO FIND ANOTHER.
It NEVER ENDS.
Unless of course you ejaculate.
Then you feel horrible about yourself.
Shocked and disgusted at your own behavior.
You erase your browser history, delete all the pictures and videos you once thought were a huge turn on.
Your whole physiology changes.
Before beginning to watch porn, think to yourself, "Will I feel better or worse about myself after having looked at this?"
"Will I be able to stop?"
"Will I be able to confess this to another human being?"
"Is this for the benefit of myself and all beings I interact with?"
"Is there ANYTHING ELSE I could do that would be more fulfilling, more exciting, more fruitful?"
LOVE IS THE ANTIDOTE TO LUST
Sit.
Be still.
Listen to your heart.
Sending healing, loving, positive thoughts and emotions to every cell of your body.
Focus on your organs. Your heart, your kidneys, your lungs, your stomach, your liver. Forgive, forget, let go. Forget about all the emotional trauma you've had in the past. Delete the memories from you mind. Do the Six Healing Sounds. Ah, Ooohh, Eee, Hoooo, Haaaaa, Heeee. Heal the brain and body. Have some self compassion.
Feeling the NEED to act of sexual is a SERIOUS SYMPTOM OF LACK OF SELF CARE.
FOCUS ON YOUR NEEDS.
BE SELFISH.
You'd think watching porn is a selfish act. But actually it's DETRIMENTAL.
Give me a man that wastes his seed watching porn everyday for hours, and I'll show you a nightmare of a life.
Give me a man who TRANSMUTES his sexual energy, looking to share and connect with others, and I'll show you a man who is successful in all his ways.
All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose.
LOVE GOD
OBEY HIS COMMANDMENTS
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY
Focus your sexual desire on to ONE WIFE. ONE DESIRE. Don't split your focus upon dozens, hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of DIFFERENT sexual scenarios displayed through SFM video and endless pictures created by amazing Hentai artists. I must admit they are VERY talented.
Talented in wicked, evil arts. Able to lure you in to HELL. To your very DESTRUCTION.
Which is why you must FLEE!!!
Immediately get your attention off of fantasy.
STOP FANTASIZING.
Snap yourself out of it.
Transmute the energy, let it go.
Focus on your goals. The task at hand.
Do not fantasize about having sex with every woman you meet. You'll end up wasting hours of your life imagining you are while looking at a similar woman on PornHub, along with hundreds of thousands of other people. Instead of really LIVING THEIR DREAM. Bringing FORTH their TRUE desire.
ENTIRE YE IN AT THE STRAIT GATE. BE ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW. FOR WIDE IS THE GATE AND BROAD IS THE WAY WHICH LEADS TO DESTRUCTION.
Observe the masses.
And do the opposite.
Stop following promiscuous Twitter people
Unsub from Hentai Redditts.
Stop searching to play Hentai Games on your phone.
Stop searching all of your perverse ideas that come to your head, without intending to actually look at the images, video, or ejaculate.
ORGASM THROUGH YOUR IMAGINATION.
Your own wonderful human imagination.
Do not get your dopamine releases from EXTERNAL DEVICES WHICH END UP CONTROLLING YOU
Be in control of your own mind.
Have no need for external devices, supplements, drugs, stimulants to make you happy or give you what you want.
Have an internal locus of control.
Be debt free.
Serve your time now.
Make your future self richer, happier, and healthier.
Do not sacrifice tomorrow for a better today.
Sacrifice today for a better tomorrow.
Live for the day however, as they days are evil. No man knows when he shall pass. Tomorrow's not a promise.
Do you want to go, and friends and family wonder what the last thing you were doing was, and it was watching Princess Peach suck a Bowser Cock?
What a legacy...
There will be suffering.
Recovering from sexually compulsive behavior is like cutting off your own hand. Or your own dick!
But it's better for one of your members to be cast from you than your whole body to be thrown into hell!
And thrown in to hell it will be!
HATE THE SIN
HATE MISSING THE MARK
LET THE HATE AND THE RAGE FUEL YOU
HAVE AN EXTREMELY NEGATIVE CHARGE TOWARDS SEXUAL IMMORALITY
PUSH IT AND RUN AWAY FROM IT LIKE A MAGNET
DO NOT ALLOW A POSITIVE CURRENCY EXCHANGE TO ATTRACT PORNOGRAPHY IMAGES TO YOU.
Let the hate DRIVE you.
Your imagination will become reality. Love yourself. Have self-compassion. Honor yourself. Listen to your inner voice. Listen to God in the stillness, in the silence. He's always there. Your true essence. Always ready and eager for you to begin listening. To get back on your true path in life. Not diverted into adulterated, sinful, wayward, prodigal son pleasures. COME BACK TO THE FATHER.
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